That's "time" for those of you who don't speak Cher. Not that I am proficient in the language, but that one I do know. ANYWAY. Yes yes so it's true, I finally forgot to blog a day! In my defense (why do I have to defend myself so much with you people!? Get off my back already! :) ) I opened my computer to blog last night and it informed me that I needed an update and a restart.... apparently in the time it took to do that, I fell asleep. Oops. So here is what I SHOULD have written last night, and then tonight I will write again for today and be back on track. Forgive me? Awesome. So here goes:
Day 33: I miss food. Real food. Food that doesn't require measuring and counting and weighing. Food that can be ordered off any menu at any time and not blow my diet so far off course that I can't even see the shore anymore. I know this is not the time to be weak. I'm only a month into this, and I still have a looooooooooooooong way to go, but this is my blog, and I'll whine if I want to! Yesterday was a perfect example. It was an early release day for kids. Now that means that the teachers and staff scatter in every which direction to try to grab lunch and be back to the library in 45 minutes. That also means that most people don't have time to eat before the meeting, and so we all sit there with our various greasy spoon sacks and supersized drinks. As I looked around the room (after consuming my Subway 6in turkey sub with no cheese, no oil, and light mayo silently in my room) I saw all the other possibilities. Burgers, burritos, pasta, sandwiches, etc. All I could do was miss the food that I used to eat without care. I KNOW it's unhealthy. I KNOW its partly the reason why I have to do this diet now and panic 5 months before my wedding. But it's HARD. Its hard to like food as much as I do, and now feel limited to eat off the "you want to fit into your dress DONT YOU? menu everywhere I go. I saw a commercial for Olive Garden when i got home from he gym last night (yes, I'm back on track with the gym) so I looked up the caloire count. All I can say is holy. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It's just as bad, IF NOT WORSE than Chili's! The fettuccine alfredo (which DUH of course I knew it was bad, but not THIS bad) has a whopping insane amount of calories. That's after scarfing down the oily bread sticks and salad with yummy dressing. And all the while that I was hyperventilating about how many of these meals I have consumed in my life, I missed it. Here I was, angel on one shoulder, devil on the other. One day I hope to be strong enough to tell the devil to "f- off" but for now, I will settle with being able to tell him to shut up on most days, and forage on with what I need to do. Here's hopin'!
33 days down... 147 to go!
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