I realized today that beyond the obvious short term goal of wanting to look amazing in my wedding dress, I have a long term goal as well... one that might seem odd (and it is)...but one that is totally honest. I want to be able to go to the gym and change in the locker room. That's it. Odd right? Let me explain. I do NOT want to be one of those woman that proudly strut around with nothing more than the stale air as their clothing. I do NOT want to be the woman who undresses completely and THEN starts slowly doing the combination to the locker.... on the bottom while practicing her squats of course. I do NOT want to be the woman who gladly shows her cash and prizes to everyone walking in the room while continuing to have a conversation with her equally naked friend. I also do NOT want to be in the naked welcoming committee in the first row of lockers, pausing every few seconds to say hello to the naked (and non naked) newcomers to the room. Yes, these are all things that I experience daily at the gym. These things, to be frank, gross me out. I do not understand how or why these people parade around like that! What I would like to be able to do however is change quietly in the back row of lockers, far away from the front door, from work clothes to gym clothes, WITHOUT displaying all that I have to offer and more. Is this really so difficult?! Yes. Every day I think to myself, "TODAY is the day I will do it". And every day, "today" comes.... and goes.... and I run right into a stall to change in the privacy, and intimacy (read: teeny tiny) instead of out in the open with everyone else. I have never seen ANYONE else do what I do. Everyone else, big or small, young or old, has no issue stripping down in front of God and everyone to change and go about their business. And then there is me. Hiding. I guess it really shouldn't come as a huge surprise since I don't want to look at myself while changing, so i really can't imagine anyone else wanting to suffer the fate of having to see me do it! I'll end this now before you get too much of a mental picture.... Sadly, I dont need a mental picture.... I have a mirror. Barf.
26 days down...154 to go!
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