And I did. I knew it was only a matter of time before I had a full fleged melt down, and it finally happened today. Today, after leaving the gym, John told me that for Valentine's Day, he was planning on getting me personal training sessions because he is seeing how much I am struggling with weight loss and staying confident. Instead of getting really excited about having a huge push in the right direction, I cried. A lot. Logical right? Of course he felt defeated. I had to quickly explain to him that the REASON I was so upset is because I feel like I should be able to do this all on my own. I shouldn't have to deal with these gym hardbodies every day just to make progress. Even though it's becoming very obvious that I need help. I don't know what I'm doing. I am pushing myself so hard that I am passing the fat burn mode and working in the "max heart rate" area. I know all this. But the thought of having someone tell me everything I was doing wrong and reminding me that I can't do this on my own makes me mad. I have always been a very independent person and I have a VERY hard time accepting help. Ugh. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but it seems like the training is going to be purchased for me either way, so I guess I better get on board! CHOOCHOO!
32 days down...148 to go!
No comments:
Post a Comment