Today is my off day from the gym. I know I need it. My body is telling me I need it. My brain is saying I need it. Kinda. My brain also told me to choose french fries instead of steamed herb potatoes at dinner. It also told me that one kind of cake batter frozen yogurt wasn't enough, I needed 2. And now my brain is telling me to feel guilty about enjoying a good dinner and dessert without earning it. Now one could argue (and I am one) that I damn well earned it during my suspension training yesterday. Somewhere between swinging from my ankles and standing pushups MUST have earned me some Yogurtland right!? Yet, here I am, wracked with guilt. I really don't know why. I absolutely stayed within my calorie count today. I only ate 5 1/2 oz of yogurt when I can EASILY eat double or sometimes even TRIPLE that amount (don't judge me...... It's good stuff.......Oh shut up.) Maybe it's the fact that I'm up almost 2lbs from Monday's weigh in. (yes, I'm back to weighing myself everyday. Ok, who are we kidding... I never stopped weighing myself everyday. Don't judge me...... Oh shut up.) Maybe because I am putting a TON of pressure on myself that I MUST lose 20lbs on the fully clothed scale before I get on that plane 2 weeks from yesterday and 19.5lbs just won't cut it. Maybe I'm panicking because I have a date set to visit and <gasp> try on my dress! Maybe because even though I am pushing myself way harder than I ever have before, I feel like everyone is doing more, and I'm still not doing enough. Maybe it's because even though my clothes are big, I feel like its not all that noticeable that I've been busting my butt. Whatever it is, I feel guilty. Good news is that I will probably be over it by tomorrow. I'm also a nondenominational Libra after all.
66 days down...114 to go!
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