Yes really. Really! SERIOUSLY! Ok I'll wait until you can breathe normally and stop laughing.......... ready yet? No? ok.................Better now? Awesome. So yes, I am at a loss for words. I feel like my last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions, of weight, and of sanity. I realized today that I am getting so wrapped up in a numbers game that I am risking losing my sanity more than losing any pounds! I feel like the Count on Sesame Street lately! ONE hundred calories AH AH AH! 243 calories AH AH AH. It's enough to make a girl go loopy. Truthfully, I don't know how the Count does it! I guess when you are only dealing with numbers 1-10, things are a lot easier to keep track of!
What I decided today, or more accurately an hour ago, is that I am going to leave most of the counting to the professionals. I am making myself CRAZY with not only how many calories am I eating in a day, but how many calories I am burning at the gym. Then there is how many pounds I need to lose before the countdown to the wedding reaches zero. Not to mention my percentage of weight loss to see what place I am in for the BL game! ENOUGH! Its a wonder that I am not just rambling and talking to myself every day and writing random thoughts and just going on and on and.... wait.... I guess I'm already doing that too. So here is the slimmed down version...
I will COUNT the number of calories I eat in a day. I will continue to use the Lose It app so I have an idea of what I'm consuming in a day. I will stay within my calories (or I have no one to blame but myself). I will NOT count and tabulate how many calories I am burning in the gym. I wont input the calories on my app or write them down anywhere. I will consider all exercise as bonus and just doing something good instead of doing something to infinity (and BEYOND!). I will COUNT or more accurately weigh myself, but only ONCE a week at school on my weigh in days. This is my hardest task. I'm an obsessive weigher inner. I mean OBSESSIVE. Not only do I weigh myself EVERY morning, but I also weigh myself several times a day just to "check in" and make sure I haven't eaten 12 lbs of food. (aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there's another number! AH AH AH). Since I am no longer allowed to weigh myself every day, I will also not write my weight on the mirror an continue to obsess over it. Instead, I will write encouraging messages-either things I hear, things that are told to me, things that I want to remember. Today's mantra- "slow and steady wins the race" (thanks John! I love you!) I also will not FREAK OUT if I dont lose as much as I thought I should. This goes back to not keeping track of how many calories I am burning. I have been SO upset today because I know I burned 2700 calories at the gym this week and I only lost 1.7lbs this week. I need to just walk away and let it be! I will also CELEBRATE my weight loss. ANY weight loss. And be happy that it is less than the week before. I will not stress out about what position I am for BL for the week. I will continue the competition and hope that by the end I end up #1 (AH AH AH), but if I'm not, I will congratulate the winner and not be pissy about it for the whole day.... week.... month.
So there you have it. My new plan of action. I guess I found some words. I know I know... you're SO surprised......... From now on, I vow I will let the Count do his job, and I will no longer be his apprentice! Ha! Take that!
PS- if you don't know who the Count is, I am no longer allowed to be associated with you.... just lie to me and say you do..... please.....
22 days down...158 to go! (AH, AH, AH!) yes, these are numbers I will continue to "count", but out of excitement to be married, not in fear of my dress!
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