Is a Cheetah print Snuggie a fashion statement?

So..... I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of energy, will, heart, and readiness to start back on calories, and head back to the gym.... and a cold. A gross, everything hurts, don't look at me sideways cold. Not that that is any excuse really, but I'm making it an excuse. I dragged my stuffy self to my closet knowing that thankfully my no muss, no fuss, no ironing required EVER, stretchy work pants would be a perfect choice for today since I was already running behind, and not quite ready to face the first day back with kids. Well. the pants that I'm pretty damn sure fit me fine before break are now tight. Tight?! STRETCHY PANTS!? I have officially sunk to a new low.... Where does one go from stretchy pants?! I mean, I have long since put away the new cute skirts, and pants that I was wearing in May... the next size up came back out from the "fat closet" around September.... and were put back away by November when I  had to buy pants in the "I'm never going to be that size again so I'm going to get rid of ALL this grotesque clothes" size and THAT didn't stop me. But now, stretchy pants!? HOW DOTH THOU FORSAKE ME!? Thankfully, to shake the terrible feeling, I wallowed in greasy, salty, fatty, foods all day and night. I even suggested dessert, and my friends and I had to make a special stop for it! Even now, as I write this, I am shoveling animal crackers into my pie hole like a 3 year old trying to erase the feeling of the stretchy pants stretching until the last stretchy fiber could almost bear it no more... What will the future hold for me at this point? Moomoos? Tents? Car covers? All sound so terribly intriguing and exciting.... I guess we shall wait and see, but if anyone sees a sickly fat lady in the aisles of Walmart wearing seemingly nothing more than a cheetah print Snuggie, it's probably me....