It makes me sick to know that I am back at day 1 again. How did I let this happen?! How did I not stop this?! Of course I can give you a million excuses and reasons, but you know what they say about excuses... At the end of the day, the reason is me (as much as I would love to blame someone or something else).
Day 1 came and went without too much excitement. I did my initial weigh in for 2 games, and emailed a picture to the group from my old school. Ten proceeded to want to run into traffic. What a number. I know that I officially lost 25lbs last year... And gained back 26. How freaking depressing. I also found out that a few of the girls at my new school (girls that I would KILL to like any day of the week!!!) are doing some extreme dieting tactics. I pass no judgement on their choices, but I feel like I have already lost the game. I mean really. How in the hell can I compete with regimented programs, pills, drops, and 500 calories a day?! I know, I know, I should care about the weight loss. I know, I freaking KNOW that I shouldn't compare myself with others and do this for me, and not worry about winning and all that bull, but really, if I could do that, I wouldn't be in this position in the first flipping place!!! So here I am, feeling like I have already lost before I even start.
To make matters worse, we figured out today that the scale at school is off. By a lot. Like 5-20 lbs off according to some people.... That means waiting ANOTHER day to start, when I already started. Sigh. The terrible drive this morning should have given me the indication that this was going to turn out to be a crappy day... But the real realization wasn't until mid morning when I saw my underwear was on inside out and I didn't even notice.... I officially have too much junk in this trunk.
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