Day 7: Some days I feel like a prisoner

So it's really only been 7 days? It feel like I have been counting calories for 7 years already. I am mentally already over it, but I know that until my scale hits the magical number that I have to keep it up! I have already been thinking about what my post will be on day 180. I've decided that its just going to be a picture of me in my wedding dress. That mental image is what's keeping me going right now. John suggested to me that I go visit my wedding dress for some inspiration. (My dress is at his aunt's house so nothing will happen to it, and so that SOMEONE cant peek at it before the big reveal!) On one hand, I think it might be a great idea- it might keep me motivated and staying on the right track. On the other hand- it might just depress me. The last time I had the dress on was in September. I was thinner than I am now, but heavier than I was when I bought it. It was decided then that I really needed to start losing weight. In fact, when I BOUGHT the dress, it was decided that i needed to lose a few pounds to make the dress look even better. My concern is that even my goal weight is not going to be enough. Physically, I dont think I will be able to lose more than the 27lbs to reach my goal by July. Then what will I do? I have joked that it will be easier to buy a new dress then to fit into the one I have.... of course, thats not really what I want to happen. How mortifying would that be when all the people who were with me when I bought the original dress watch me walk down the aisle in a tent because that is all I can fit into. That is really not what I want to happen. So I plug on.
Today, I have been in my house for the entire day. Just me. And food. Lots of food. Chips, and cookies, and candy left over from the holidays. Most I dont even eat on a normal day, but when I can't have it, I WANT IT ALL. I have resisted. I feel like I am trapped in a prison cell and all these high calorie foods are just waiting for me to drop my soap in the shower.... Perhaps I have watched too much tv today.
I dont know what I will be having for dinner, but I'm sure it wont be anything healthy. Right now, my goal is just to stay within my calories! One day at a time!!!!!!!
7 days down...173 to go!