Before I begin, let me take a step back... today was day 2 of keeping up with the Jones. Day 2 of a real butt kicking at the gym. Day 2 of fearing for my life when the word "running" was mentioned. And day 1 of fleas, baby frogs, and slime. Ew. Let me back up again. Yesterday I was promised "seeds". I was told they were "chi seeds" which I mentally associated with chi tea. Not that I particularly LIKE chi tea, but I figured I could manage. I was told they are a great natural energy booster and they would be great before the gym. Awesome. TODAY, I was presented with something VERY different than what I was picturing. Today the words I heard were "well, the seeds kind of look like little fleas". FLEAS!? Why in the world would I want to eat anything that looked like fleas? As promised, they did. A whole bag of fleas. "Want some?" I was asked. Hell no. Then, I was told that these flea seeds could be mixed with a shake or a smoothie or hidden in some peanut butter. There were none of these items around. We'll just mix it in water and drink it down! I was already frightened. In my mind, seeds in water = seeds floating around in water. I couldn't imagine what the point was!. Uhhh you go first. The flea seeds were mixed with water and before I could even take in what I was seeing I was told "they kind of look like baby frogs once they are in the water". Want some? Uh, HELL NO. Again, the description did not disappoint! Right before my very eyes, the fleas turned into baby frogs floating in dirt. Appetizing. If that wasn't enough, the seeds and water mixed to make this "delightful" slime in addition to the baby frogs in dirt. Upon further investigation I realized that these were not actually "chi" seeds, but CHIA seeds. That's right CHIA as in CHIA PET! The same exact seeds that make the chia pet grow "hair" were the very snack that I was being presented with. Thank you no. That's it. I decided at that moment that if that's what it takes to lose an enormous amount of weight each week, I would rather be fat. Forever!
16 days down...164 to go!
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